Pork Is The Tom Cruise Of The Food World

Stacked up beside one another, the similarities between pork consumption and Tom Cruise's career are hard to ignore. Once beloved, both pork and Tom have been subjected to downtrodden times as each was tyrannized by public opinion. After recent comebacks, one would be hard-pressed to argue either pork’s or Tom’s growing popularity is in question.

Being named People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” while taking on lead roles in box office hits such as A Few Good Men and Jerry Maguire brought Tom to the height of fame. America’s love of pork reached its peak with the unveiling of the monstrosity known as the bacon explosion. The bacon explosion received an amazing amount of press and a cult following. An homage to pork, it resembles a small torpedo and is made with 2 lbs of bacon, 2 lbs of loose sausage meat, and 1 jar each of barbecue sauce and barbecue seasonings.

The public's perception of Tom began to steadily decline as he declared his devotion to the controversial Church of Scientology and was broadcast jumping on Oprah’s yellow couch while professing his love for his young bride-to-be, Katie Holmes. It reached an all-time low when he famously called Matt Lauer “glib” and was ousted from Paramount Pictures by Sumner Redstone. Pork’s popularity began to decline, and reached its lowest point with the outbreak of the swine flu. Pictures of Mexican citizens in surgical masks and reports of a rising death toll had a hugely negative impact on pork consumption. Pork producers and companies that slaughter pigs were grossly affected, hog futures fell to their lowest price in years, and consumers looked to alternative foods to replace pork. Both Tom and pork were down for the count...

After being written off by much of Hollywood, Tom partnered with MGM and it was announced he is slated to run the newly formed United Artists with Paula Wagner. Shortly thereafter, Tom gave a stellar performance as Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder. This role led to a Golden Globe nomination for best performance by an actor in a supporting role. Tom didn’t win the Golden Globe, but he captivated the movie viewing public once again. Tom was officially back, and he hasn’t left since. Pork’s comeback can be attributed, in part, to the National Pork Producers Council and health officials who went to great lengths to assure the public it would not contract the swine flu by eating pork. Pork’s status rose further with the renaming of the swine flu to the H1N1 virus, further delineating the disease from being caused by consumption of pork. Restaurants are now pushing pork (Monkey Town in Brooklyn is showing pig themed movies while serving a pig inspired menu) and famous chefs are promoting pork consumption (any lingering swine flu fears will not stand in the way of Mario Batali and Joseph Bastianich’s annual Wine & Swine event). Pork is well on its way to reclaiming its rightful spot as the public's favorite other white meat.